Unrequited Love
by i hate jacob black
Summary: It all started with Snape and the whomping willow. But maybe that was just what they needed to sort things out. RLSB slash.
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING: **RLSB SLASH. Yes, that means two guys. Together.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, people would notice. Trust me.

The radiant, circular moon shone like a beacon through the open window, illuminating the dark room. A distant howl echoing through the night from the forest reminded a usually obnoxious teenager what he lost. The three empty beds beside his told him what he already knew; he was not welcome anymore. A single tear trailed down his cheek, glistening in the dim light. The feeling of remorse spread through him as he pondered his actions and knew his consequences were deserved, regardless of what it cost him

_Remus, _he thought. _How could I have done that to him? He doesn't deserve it. No one deseves his fate if what I had planned had occured. _

Another tear followed the first. Sirius Black had a hard time opening his eyes this morning, not knowing what he will see. So, he did not. Instead, he listened to the loud snores Peter made, the slow and steady breathing of James, and...nothing. There was no third breath in the room. _Remus must have left, not wanting to spend more time in my presence. _The thought that his friend could despise him, haunted Sirius.

He did not want to move to wake up the others and hear their harsh reprimands on Remus's conditon. He vaguely felt that his pillow was wet, probably as a result to him crying in his slumber. However, his impatient personality would not let him rest in bed not knowing what Remus was doing or how much Sirius's absence distressed the pained werewolf. Realizing Remus would be in the hospital wing recovering, Sirius stepped out of bed lightly and walked down the stairs slowly, not wanting to wake anyone up. He took his time, not wanting to see Remus's tired and weak state, but knowing he should be there as he was not last night.

He pushed on the ajar door of the hospital wing and stepped in, looking for light brown hair. He spotted the bed Remus was resting in and walked towards him, staring at his calm face. _At least he doesn't look sad, _Sirius thought. Sirius couldn't help but relax as he looked at the tired adolescent's face. His brown hair messy and partially obscurring his closed eyes. Sirius had a sudden impulse to brush the hair from Remus's face, but fought it, knowing he was not wanted.

Sirius turned around and exited the hospital wing, not wanting to look at his...what was Remus to him? A friend? And ex-friend? Considering Remus as an ex-friend anguished him knowing it was Sirius's fault. He messed up, and it was not just an accident. He deliberately wanted to hurt Snape and didn't think of the consequences. _Stupid Snivellus with his stupid greasy hair. If he didn't exist I'd still be friends with Remus now. _

Sirius did not speak with Remus ever since a month ago, when Sirius told Severus how to get past the womping willow, to his friend. _Friend, _Sirius thought. _He'll never know now, I guess. He'll never know about me. No one will. I'll just be by myself the rest of my life. _Sirius sneaked back into his dormitory, and sank into his bed, staring up, oblivious to the world around him.

**AN: **Sorry. The first chapter is really short, and kind of...vague. I'll try to update soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **The beginning of this chapter (up until the smiley face) is chapter one in Remus's POV instead of Sirius's. After the smiley face is Sirius's POV after last chapter. And don't ask about the smiley face. Please.

Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own Harry Potter and never will.

Remus woke up in the morning by the sound of a door opening. He remembered the dream he had last night. A feeling of nostalgia filled him as he pondered about Sirius's behavious a month ago.

_Sirius, _Remus thought. _I miss him so much. _

He became aware that he wasn't alone anymore as he heard the sound of steady breathing and footsteps approaching his bed. _It's Sirius. What do I do? _Remus started panicking but was resolved to act absorbed in his slumber. He heard the footsteps stop and felt Sirius's gray eyes probing him.

_Stop, please, _Remus thought as he heard Sirius walking away, but not having the courage to voice his pleas. _Why did I push him away? It was all because of Sirius not thinking things through. But I can't do it. I can't and won't stop being friends with him. I owe him so much, for being there for me when he found out I'm a werewolf. He was there when I needed a friend. And now, can I just desert him for telling Snape how to get past the willow? _Remus reasoned. _I can't do this anymore. I-I-I love him. Before we were friends but now...we're nothing. And it's my fault. I pushed him away. I didn't forgive him. And now, everything's over. Not only do I have a chance with him, but we're not even...friends anymore. _Remus started blinking fast to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

\/

Sirius pulled out his diary after checking to make sure the dormitory was empty. _It's not a diary. It is a book that I write my feelings in. _Sirius thought. He opened the book and got ink and a quill to write an entry.

_The full moon was last night. I don't know what to do. I saw Remus today in the hospital wing and he looked so calm and peaceful. I think he feels better with me gone. I can't believe I was so stupid. From the previous full moon to last night's was the longest in my life. Seeing Remus day after day, not talking to or with him, hurt me so much. I hated seeing his eyes darken everytime he looked at me. In the hospital wing, as I was staring at him, I-_

The sound of the quill scratching as it moved on the paper stopped as Sirius heard an anguished yell from the common room.

**AN: **Just so everyone who reads this knows, the reason my chapters are so short is because if the chapters are long I feel like I've written and accomplished less which makes me less motivated to write. I'm just weird, so this probably doesn't apply to a lot of other people. Sorry if short chapters are annoying, but how many chapters there are isn't going to change the length of this fanfic.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **I want to thank everyone that reviewed. I get excited every time I get a review, so if you want to make me happy, please review. If you do not want to make me happy, do not review. I also want to thank Somebody Special for helping me with ideas for this fanfic.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am not J.K. Rowling, therefore I do not own Harry Potter. Simple as that.

James was accustomed to Lily rejecting him, since she did it so often, it was almost becoming a tradition. He was not expecting Lily to physically hurt him by his relatively harmless question, however. Or, in better words, spray him in the eyes with pepper spray.

"Lily! Merlin, that hurts!" James exclaimed.

Sirius bounded down the stairs quickly to see a red-haired girl running up the stairs to the girls' dormitory and a distressed James with his head in his hands. "You okay?" Sirius asked, uncertainly.

"No. What did I ever do to her?"

"What happened?" Sirius asked, uneasily.

"Well, here I was, harmless as always, when I ask an innocent question. And then, Lily, sprays me with pepper spray! I didn't do anything! I swear!" James explained.

"Do you need to go to the hospital wing? Your eyes are kind of turning red. Really red, actually," Sirius said.

"Great. Just what I needed. With the quidditch game tomorrow on top of everything else!" James seemed to have forgotten their feud as the two friends walked together through the portrait hole towards the hosptial wing.

* * *

Remus got released from the hospital wing and headed to the common room. 

He hid around a corner as he saw James and Sirius walking out of the portrait, discussing James's eye injury. Remus went inside the common room as they walked from sight and headed up to his dormitory. As he walked inside, Remus could not help but notice a book open on Sirius's bed with ink and a quill lying next to it.

_What would Sirius be doing with an open book on his bed? Only one way to find out. _Remus walked towards his bed and looked at the page the book was open on and noticed it was handwritten. The handwriting also happened to belong to Sirius Black. _Is this his diary or journal or something? Should I read it or not? _

Remus decided that since it was open, he would read the one page it was open on. He read the entry outloud, whispering it as he deciphered Sirius's handwriting. "The full moon was last night. I don't know what to do. I saw Remus today in the hospital wing and he looked so calm and peaceful. I think he feels better with me gone. I can't believe I was so stupid. From the previous full moon to last night's was the longest in my life. Seeing Remus day after day, not talking to or with him, hurt me so much. I hated seeing his eyes darken everytime he looked at me. In the hospital wing, as I was staring at him, I-"

_I what? It's not finished. I can't believe Sirius thinks I'm better off without him. The only reason I was calm was because he was there. Do my eyes really darken when I look at him? _Despite his earlier resolution, Remus needed to read more to find out about what he caused his usually unsensitive friend. As he was flipping through Sirius's private thoughts, he noticed Sirius tended to write once a week. _I wonder what he thought before the willow incident? _Remus flipped through the pages until he found the last entry before Snape found out.

_Remus is driving me insane. I have to look at him day after day, without letting anything slip. I don't know how much longer I can stand this. Everytime I look at him, I notice everything. I notice how his eyes light up when he's with his friends as if nothing is more important than us. Everytime he sits through a class, he sits through all of it and pays attention even though I know he would rather be off doing something else with me, James, or Peter. Everytime someone says something mean to him or acts unkind to him, his eyes look all sad, no matter who's rejecting him. That expression just makes me want to kill whoever is causing Remus pain. He always puts up a mask around himself. No one can tell by looking at him what he's really thinking. But if you look in his eyes, you can see everything there is to know about him over that careful cover he's placed around himself. Everytime he's hungry or tired, he never tells anyone. He deals everything by himself, even if he starves himself. I don't get how he can work so hard on a homework assignment. Everytime he's stuck or thinks about something especially hard, his eyes cloud over a bit and he chews on his bottom lip. Then when he solves it, his mouth is slightly open as he writes down his ideas quickly, and his amber eyes are bright with the excitement of overcoming another obstacle. He smiles a lot, but mostly because he's so polite. He rarely laughs, but when he does, I feel like I could hear him laugh forever and never get tired of it. Although he would never admit it, Remus is always scared I'll reject him for being a werewolf. Well, I think that's kind of stupid as I've known him for five years (this year is the sixth) and still have found no reason to hate him._

_How can Sirius write so much about _me Remus thought, flabbergasted. _He reminds me of myself whenever I'm in the same room as him. _Remus flipped to a page following the willow incident.

_I screwed up._

That was all Sirius wrote on the next day after what happened. Remus could not help noticing, the page looked like it had been in the rain, in that there were dried water droplets on it. _Or tears, _Remus realized. He went to the next page after that.

_Why did I do it? I completely hurt Remus, and now, I don't know what to do. He won't speak to me, and I don't blame him. I wouldn't speak to me either. It all started with Snivellus. Merlin, I hate him. He was always so nosy, poking his large, greasy nose where it didn't belong. There he was, trying to see where Remus went every month. What would anyone else have done? Then, after I told James, I realized what I had done. Snape isn't going to just go there, be scared and back out and run up to the castle. And if he dies, Remus will get expelled and maybe go to Azkaban. I never, ever wanted to hurt Remus, and now, I've hurt him more than can be fixed with a simple I'm sorry. I lost my three best friends. I lost Remus. And now, he'll never know or even want to know. I can't march up to a guy that hates me, and tell him I've had a crush on him since third year and in love with him since fifth. Especially since I'm a guy too._

Remus put the diary down, not believing what was inscribed on the page. _He loves me, and now he thinks I hate him. This is just perfect. _

Remus heard footsteps from outside the door and he quickly went and sat on his bed, pulling out a book to read from under the bed.

Sirius walked in and went directly to his bed, not looking at Remus. He went to his own bed and stared at his diary that had been moved from its original positon and flipped to another page. He looked at Remus, acting too innocent and reading a book upside down.

**AN: **Yay! Another chapter finished! This one is my longest so far and I'm trying to update once a day. So far, that is working but I might not get a chance to update every day.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **I'm so sorry! Will everyone please forgive me? I'm really, really, really, really, really... sorry! I'm really sorry about the late update. And I'm even more sorry for what I had to write in this chapter. But it's necessary! Please! Don't judge anything or the story yet! There's a perfectly good explanation about it in the next chapter.

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter (which I don't), Sirius and Remus would be together and Tonks would not exist.

Sirius looked at his flustered friend in confusion. "Remus..."

He stopped abruptly, shook his head, and attempted to start again. "Why are you reading a book upside down?"

"I'm not," Remus replied quickly before glancing at his book. He started wondering why he could not decipher the letters. "Wait... why can't I read this?"

"Because generally, people read books right-side up," he responded, warily. Remus blushed and tried to come up with an explanation.

"Oh, umm... I thought it was Greek."

"You can't read Greek," Sirius said.

"That's why I couldn't read it."

"Then why's the title in English?"

Remus did not answer and occupied himself by searching for another book. Awkward silence filled the room while Sirius picked up his diary and read the passage it was open to. _Did he read it? No, he couldn't have. He's actually talking to me. But what if it's because he's guilty? He really looks guilty. But maybe he's guilty because he read what I wrote and is trying to make me feel better for falling in love with someone I can't have._

While Sirius was pondering, Remus was fighting a losing battle with himself. _What if he knows I read the diary? Sirius looks like he's depressed. Why do I even care? I remember I had some sort of epiphany at the hospital wing earlier. But what was it? Why do I care about Sirius so much? He doesn't mean anything. He's just a friend. _Was _just a friend. _Remus put down his book, sighed, and left the dormitory in favor of going to the Sirius-free library.

* * *

Remus started walking slowly from the library after it closed. He wandered through the halls on the way to his common room. As he was walking, he passed a girl that looked around the same age as him leaning against a wall outside the common room door, whispering, "Just do it. I just have to march in there and do it."

_Do what? _Remus followed her in through the door, and saw her sitting on a couch, breathing deeply. Remus ascended the stairs rapidly and opened the door. He noticed Sirius was still on his bed, staring straight up, and oblivious to Remus's entrance. Remus laid down on his bed and closed the thick drapes surrounding him.

He heard a soft knock at the door. Sirius seemed to wake up from his trance. Remus heard him get up, not noticing the other occupied bed. The sound of a door opening, followed by footsteps to another bed. Then, Remus heard slightly heavier footsteps following the first, and a deep voice asking, "May I help you?"

Remus heard a thud followed by a soft, high pitched moan. Remus, afraid of what he would see outside of his curtains, opened them anyways. As he drew back the drapes, what he saw made him wish he had not eaten lunch.

He saw a small, slender body straddling his gorgeous, black friend. _Gorgeous? Where did that come from? _

He knew he had to look away but he could not tear his eyes from the scene before him. Remus saw Sirius's hands snake their way to the front of the girl's shirt. Remus felt a stab of jealousy as he saw Sirius groping her. _Do I like her? Why do I feel jealous? _As she moaned against his mouth again, he realized what the problem was.

He did not like the girl. He wanted to be in the girl's position. After his second epiphany in the space of a day, he raced out of the dormitory, desperate to find some consolation.

**AN: **Okay, so in case people have not realized, the reason this had to happen is because Remus does not know he loves Sirius. He only knows subconsiously and that is what happened in the hospital wing when he was too weak to control his thoughts. He doesn't really remember that either. He was too tired. So this had to happen to make Remus realize everything. And don't worry about the girl. She's not important. She's only something to trigger Remus's epiphany.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Okay, so this is going to be Sirius's POV of what happened. Hopefully you won't hate me anymore after you read it. I'm sorry though. It was necessary.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Sirius did not know what was happening. He barely registered a knock on the door. As he went to open the offending piece of wood, he saw a figure outside licking her lips nervously. She walked past him and sat on a bed next to a bed with closed hangings. He followed her, not comprehending who she was or what she was doing.

"May I help you?" he asked, trying to understand.

Suddenly, he felt weight pinning him to a soft mattress. He felt something touch his lips. Sirius heard a girly moan inside his mouth.

He opened his eyes and realized that the person doing this to him, was definately not Remus. And no one other than Remus would ever be allowed to kiss him if he had something to say about it. He tried to gain control of his body and moved his hands so he was in a better position to push her off.

He heard a door slam shut, but dismissed it as he was working on the task at hand. As she finally released her grip on him, he noticed the hangings on a bed that were closed before, now open. Also, he realized the bed was Remus's. _Oh, shit._

Sirius needed to get to Remus fast, but first, he needed to get rid of the girl.

* * *

"Lily?" Remus asked quietly to a girl in the common room with her homework spread out in front of her.

Lily glanced up and saw Remus looking at her, his eyes trying to fight tears. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"It's a long story. I need help. I don't know who to turn to."

"Okay. Come on, let's take a walk. You can tell me what happened. I promise not to tell anyone."

"Okay, let's go," Remus said. He grabbed her hand and almost ran out of the common room.

"Why are you trying to get out so quickly?"

"I need to get away before someone finds me," he replied.

"Okay, spill. What happened?" Lily asked again.

"You know about what happens once a month, right?"

Lily winced. "Yes."

"Well, Sirius told Snape how to get past the whomping willow a month ago on the full moon."

"Why? And why are you upset now if it happened a month ago?"

"One second. I'm getting there. So, what happened was James found out Sirius told Snape, so he went down the whomping willow to pull Snape back. Unfortunately, Snape saw me so he knows what I am. I...I didn't exactly forgive him. We're not really friends anymore and I'm really upset. So now Sirius is all alone, and I haven't talked to him in a month, not counting today. Well, earlier today, when I got into the dormitory, I noticed a book on Sirius's bed. And...I was curious. It turned out it was his diary. And it also turns out he's completely in love with me."

"Really? I kind of guessed. But I always thought you two were together. You would be so perfect together!"

"Lily! Let me finish, please."

"Sorry," Lily replied, sheepishly.

"Anyways, Sirius came back into the dormitory and I didn't exactly have time to put the diary exactly where it was so I just set it back down on the bed. But it was on a different page. And I picked up a book and pretended I was reading. But Sirius commented that the book was upside down and he was staring at his diary. So now he knows I read his diary. It gets worse. I left the room, and when I got back, Sirius didn't notice me. He was just lying on his bed. But then this girl came in and they were basically lip-locked. Then, I saw him grope her and I got really mad and jealous. I didn't know why at first, but then I realized I'm in love with him! What am I supposed to do now? He's basically just proved he's gotten over me and is now into girls again, and we're still not friends. Could my life be anymore messed up?"

"Okay. Take it easy. Let's work through this step-by-step. Who started it?"

"Who started what?" Remus asked.

"You know. Who started the kissing?"

"Why does it matter? Besides, I don't know. My curtains were pulled. I just heard someone come in, Sirius asking, 'May I help you?', a thud, and a moan. Then I looked and saw Sirius's hands slide to the front of her shirt, and...You know what happens next,"

"Well, it matters because maybe the girl started everything and Sirius tried to distangle himself from her but wasn't trying as hard as he should, not knowing you were there."

"Well, that definately doesn't make me feel better. Great, so the person I'm in love with is the kind who would cheat on me if I wasn't there," Remus replied, sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant, Remus."

"Then what did you mean, Lily?"

"Well, maybe he _couldn't _try as hard because he was too occupied with thoughts about you?"

"You seem to have a lot of experience in these matters, Lily. Personal experience?" Lily blushed and mumbled something about none of your buisness.

"Okay, so what do I do?"

"You miss Sirius, right?" Remus nodded. "Well, wait a couple of days and apologize for not getting over what happened with the willow quicker and that you want to be friends again."

"What if he asks about the girl and why I got out of the room? I'm sure he would have noticed that."

"Say it was something you'd rather not have to witness, because you're not a pervert who spends their time looking at other people-"

"Lily!" Remus cut her off quickly. "I get it. Please don't finish that sentence."

"Fine. So, will you apologize?"

"He has to apologize first," Remus said.

"Why? He doesn't know he hurt you and why would he apologize to someone he thinks hates him for kissing a girl?"

"You have a point. I'll apologize to Sirius tomorrow, then."

"Good. See you later, Remus," Lily said before running inside the common room to finish her abandoned homework.

_Great. That's one conversation I'm going to look forward to tomorrow. Apologizing to Sirius for something _he _did. Well, it was partially my fault._

Remus sat outside the common room, sitting down and leaning against a wall, for a few hours. Then he went inside when he was sure Sirius would be asleep.

**AN: **Does everyone forgive me now? Please say yes! If you don't forgive me, at least please tell me why.


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING: **This chapter is a little...rated T. So, if you don't like, don't read. I'll put a summary at the end of this chapter for those who want to skip it... But nothing happens between anyone. It's only thoughts.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and never will. It's not just me being pessimistic, it's the truth.

Remus cautiously entered the dormitory, where the object of his devotion should rest. He wandered over to Sirius's bedside, gazing at the rising and falling of his chest. He stared at his closed eyes, picturing the grey eyes that lie underneath the lids, bright with mischief and exctiment. _Well, they were. Before he told Snape._

His eyes glanced over Sirius's lips, staring at their perfect shape. His lips parted slightly, and Sirius whispered "Remus..."

Remus's eyes opened wider, and Sirius rolled over and mumbled incoherently. _He's still asleep. I could have sworn he said my name. _

Remus's eyes went lower on Sirius's body, and he gazed transfixed at his flawless back, uncovered and illuminated by the moonlight. Remus noticed how Sirius's blanket was quite low on his perfect body, and Sirius turned over again, facing Remus.

Remus could not look away from Sirius's chiseled chest. He saw a thin scar marking the otherwise flawless body. He looked longingly at Sirius. Remus felt his pants start to tighten, but he still could not look away.

Remus finally managed to pry his eyes away from Sirius's body. He looked up to try to solve his "problem". Sirius's thumb got strategically placed in his mouth while Remus was still lusting.

_Happy thoughts, Remus. Happy thoughts, _Remus thought. The mesmerizedwerewolf unconsciously leaned forward, noticing that Sirius was sucking on his finger.

Remus's pants felt even tighter. _What I wouldn't give to have him suck something else. _Remus was shocked at his thoughts, but agreed wholeheartedly.

A loud snort filled the room and Remus was awoken from his trance. He slid into his own bed and was thanking Peter's loud sleeping habits for saving Remus from doing something he would regret later. _I just have to think unhappy thoughts, and it will go away... _

Remus started thinking about the girl that jumped Sirius, hoping that would un-arouse himself. He could not help but picture it was him that jumped Sirius and sticking his tongue down his mouth. That it was Remus that Sirius was groping, not that slut...

Far from calming him down, he began to feel he would never get rid of it. _Anything. There has to be something that I find so disgusting that I'll be fine._

Remus then remembered what caused this lapse in their friendship. Snape and the whomping willow. Sirius told Snape. _How could Sirius love me if he does _that _to me and tells Snape out of all the people? It's hopeless. I'll be stuck with unrequited love for the rest of my life. _

His problem was solved, and yet, he felt even worse as he realized the truth. He would be alone forever since he could never love anyone other than Sirius.

_Unrequited love sucks._

**_SUMMARY: _**Remus stares at Sirius when he is sleeping for a while before thinking how Sirius does not love him and that unrequited love sucks.

**AN: **This was a lot of fun to write, oddly enough. Sorry about the late update. I would have updated yesterday, but my internet did not work at all. I am almost done writing the next chapter, so if my internet continues to work, you can expect an update soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: **Yay! A quick update!

Disclaimer: Nope. I still don't own Harry Potter.

Sirius Black woke up in the morning with an erection and a saliva-covered thumb. _I had such a good dream last night, _he thought. He looked down. _Apparantly, I had a _really _good dream. I don't remember it though. Something about Remus... _

Sirius got up from bed and walked over to Remus's. He looked at the sleeping form and wished everything could go back to the way it was before. _I have to talk to him. Even just being friends is enough. We don't have to be more in order for me to be happy. Just friends..._

Sirius started blinking quickly to stop a tear that was threatning to fall.

_It will never happen. I'm going to live the rest of my life not talking to him, or we'll just be friends. Well, friends is better than nothing. I'd choose friends anytime. As long as I get to talk to him without hatred involved, I'll be content._

Sirius continued to gaze at Remus until he started to stir. Sirius walked away from his bed and started changing quickly. He dashed out of the dormitory before Remus could take in his surroundings and notice Sirius.

_I have to appologize again. I don't care what it takes, if i have to get down on my knees and beg, I have to be friends with him again, _Sirius thought. _And James and Peter, too, _he added as an after thought.

_Unrequited love sucks.

* * *

_

Sirius was staring at his full plate at dinner. _Time goes by really quickly when you're nervous or frightened of something._

It was now nearing the time he would have to apologize to Remus. He still had no idea what to say, but writing a speech that sounded memorized would be even worse in winning back Remus's friendship and trust.

It was after dinner and Sirius was pacing in the empty dormitory. _Remus should be back any minute._

Sirius heard footsteps coming closer. The door knob turned and Remus entered the room, staring at his feet.

"Remus..." Sirius started to say, looking at Remus's reaction. Remus looked up and stared straight into Sirius's eyes. Sirius felt elated as he gazed into the werewolf's eyes, and forgot what he was going to say.

"What, Sirius?" Remus replied softly. Sirius realized that Remus was talking to him. _He must not hate me too much._

"I know that nothing I ever do or say will ever be enough after what I did to you. I deserve everything. I shouldn't have told Snape, and I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to. I really didn't. But you know how I never think things through. That's no excuse though. But this silence and sadness between us is killing me. Can we please be friends again? I'm not asking you to forgive me, I don't deserve it. But can we just be friends again? Please, Remus?" By the end of his speech, a couple tears slid down his cheeks and glistened in the dim light.

Remus stared at Sirius. He did not believe that Sirius could not hate him for ignoring him. _And now he thinks he deserves everything. That he doesn't deserve me forgiving him. _

"Of course, Sirius. I can't stay mad at you. It's killing me also," Remus whispered back to his friend.

Sirius felt elated.

"Sirius?"

"Yes, Remus?" Sirius responded, still dumbfounded at Remus's acceptance.

"Can you try to think things through before you say anything from now on?"

Sirius laughed in relief as a response.

**AN: **Aww... So, they're finally friends again. Remus just isn't the kind to hold a grudge for too long. Especially not a grudge against Sirius...


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: **Yes, I know. I know it took a really, really, really, really, really...long time to update (for me, at least). But at least I have the chapter done!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

He knew. James knew more than he let on, and he definitely knew enough to distract him from going after Lily. He saw everything. All the "innocent" touches, the glassy eyed stares. There was no way he could not notice. Sirius was forgiven. Everything was back to normal. Almost.

Because of that, it came as no shock when James saw a folded piece of paper lying on Remus's bed. That was not the shocking part though. The real shock came from what was written in the parchment. And that it was lying in plain view of some people that are not supposed to read it.

And of course, being the loyal friend James was, he read the note. Not that he was nosy or that he pryed into other people's buisnesses for better or worse. He just read and heard things that he was not entirely sure that he was supposed to know. On purpose. That doesn't make someone nosy, right?

This folded parchment however couldn't be ignored. James could not just glance at it and move on, not knowing what it said. So, he picked it up. However, he could not just pick it up. He had to open it. And by opening it, he realized that he was definately not supposed to read it in that it contained private information no one should know. So, he read it anyways.

_Hi, _

_I'm just writing to myself right now to hopefully clear up some confusion. You see, I'm a guy. And I like someone. Who is also a guy. And I know a lot about prejudice. About people not accepting others for their differences. Or for things that no one can control. It's like I'm a magnet for problems. Everything unavoidable, bad, and uncurable that would exist, comes to me. And it's not like I want any of it. It's not like I want to be a werewolf. I can't control if I get bitten by a savage beast and turn into one myself once a month. I can't control that I'm gay either, although I'd like to think that I could. And yet, through all of this, I wouldn't have it any other way. It would be a little better to not go through my transformations once a month, but that's just part of me. And, it made me realize what loyal friends I really have. They didn't run away screaming when they found out about me. But this is different. I'm in love. I'm in love with my best friend. And if I tell him, than I risk our friendship. I risk everything he has done for me or accepted about me. And I don't know what to do. His name is Sirius Black._

_Yes. I know what everyone is thinking (not that everyone or even anyone is going to read this letter). I'm just another name to his list. Another name of people who like him, and then got their hearts broken. Because Sirius Black, never has and most probably never will have a steady relationship. He hasn't been with a girl for more than a week, and he definately has never been with a guy (that I know of). And yet, I can't help myself. I can't help falling in love with him. Even knowing that if we do go out (not that we will. He's straight. Straight people don't date people of the same gender), my heart's going to break in less than a week. But I can't bring myself to regret falling in love with him. He's just perfect._

_Everything about him is. I love the way his hair shines in the sun. How it always manages to look perfect. Nothing's ever wrong with his hair, no matter what he does to it. He jumped into the lake once, and he came out five minutes later, soaking wet and dripping water on the ground. And if it was possible, he looked even better. His grey eyes were bright with excitement. His eyes. I could write pages about his eyes. They are a stunning shade of blue-grey. I could just stare into his eyes and never look away, if only he wouldn't ask why. After he always accomplishes some prank, his eyes light up and he's completely happy. And his smiles are contagious. No one can see Sirius Black smile without smiling also. And he's the only one who can make me laugh or cheer me up. No matter what happened, if he's there, I feel like everything is going to be okay._

James was almost in tears when he finished reading it. _I never realized that Remus loved Sirius that much!_

And, another one of James's qualities was that he interfered with people's problems. If he heard something, he did something about it. _If Sirius loves Remus also, than I'm going to make him do something!_

First, he had to talk to Sirius. If Sirius wasn't going to admit to James about loving Remus by himself, than he would have to go to extreme measures. And it would not be pretty. For Sirius, at least.

**AN: **That was really fun to write. In some weird way. I can't wait to post the next chapter! I almost feel sorry for Sirius...


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Not mine.

**AN: Sorry that took so long to post.**

It was dark. The omnipresent shade that resided in the enclosed, minuscule space only added to the dismal mood. Sirius Black was secluded in a storage room, with no space to move.

If his problem was not bad enough, there was someone else in the closet with him. And, in result of the cramped space, they could not be in the room without touching.

It was just some empty storage space that was too small to actually contain any storage items worth anything, which probably contributed to the vacuous enclosure. It apparently served some purpose in Hogwarts for its existence, but getting two people together was not it.

And the founders of the school probably would not agree for the space to be used for making two guys realize their feelings for each other. But James probably wouldn't consider what the founders of Hogwarts would or would not want, or consider that shoving two people together did not guarantee anything.

Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were not exactly what most people would call comfortable. Awkward, terrified, confused, mad… were more appropriate words.

Although Sirius was not exactly confused by the reason of why they were in the closet; he was confused by the tactics James used.

It was obvious who did this, since James had spent the whole day trying to get Sirius to admit something he would have never admitted to his friends. And of course, invisible forces don't just push people and lock them in places without explanation.

_---------- Flashback ----------_

_Sirius was lying in his bed, staring up. He enjoyed the peace and quiet that surrounded him in the empty dormitory. Sirius stared off into space and pictured a face in his head. He pictured the soft brown hair, tired amber eyes, and-_

_"Sirius!" James shouted from the once unoccupied doorway._

_Sirius sighed before responding. "Yes, James?"_

_"I need to talk to you," James said, and he collapsed on his bed which was conveniently next to Sirius's. James stared up also, and the two boys stared up, both not looking at anything._

_"About what?" Sirius said, breaking the silence._

_"Well… I've had my suspicions for a while, about your… inclinations towards a certain person."_

_"Really? Well, who do you think she is?" Sirius responded, amused._

_"Well… I'd rather not say. I'll give you the chance to admit it now before I take drastic action."_

_Sirius started worrying now. When James said something, he did it. "Well… I've had my eye on… Melanie… for a while now," Sirius said saying a name at random._

_James turned his head so he could stare at Sirius. "Really? Wow. I was way off. Wasn't that that girl who jumped you a couple days ago?" Sirius flinched. "So, why do you like Melanie?" James asked, grinning._

_"Well…she's really nice. And… she's kind," Sirius said, trying to sound like he meant it._

_"Wow. She sounds like a really nice and kind girl," James said, smirking. "So… do you like Remus?" James tried to sound casual, but he couldn't refrain from smiling._

_"Of course I like Remus! He's my friend!"_

_"Why is Remus your friend?" James asked._

_Sirius stared at James like he was crazy. "Because! He's always there for me, whether I deserve it or not! He can make me laugh when I'm upset. He's always making sure I'm fine when he should be more worried about himself. He's always come up with great ideas for our pranks, so he's not too nice. He's very forgiving. And he's really smart. He's not scared that being smart will affect his popularity. And he doesn't think being dumb is cool or even cares about that. He also is never mean or nasty to anyone, even if they deserve it. All in all, he's just… perfect."_

_James started smiling. "Aww… I guess I found out who your crush is after all."_

_"What? No, no, no. I don't like Remus like that," Sirius shouted._

_"Yes you do. Just admit it. I told you I'd get it out of you, and I did!"_

_"You never said that!"_

_"Well, I'm saying it now!" James replied._

_"Well, it doesn't matter, because I don't like Remus like that!"_

_"Then how do you like him?" James asked._

_"As a friend! And besides, I'm attracted to girls, not guys."_

_"Oh. I didn't think of that," James said. He grinned, remembering something. "So… who was your first kiss with? I don't think I remember you telling me."_

_"Oh. It was with Oliver Ra-"_

_James burst out laughing and cut off Sirius from finishing his sentence. "So, tell me Sirius. What kind of person would name a girl Oliver?"_

_"Oliver's not a girl!" Sirius shouted. He realized what he had said after it was too late. _

_"Shit. Now you know. You know, James. If you want to move your bed away from mine to the other side of the room, that's fine. I'd understand. And don't worry, I won't stare at you when you're changing and I'll walk out of the room also. And I'll-"_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"I'm gay! What else could I be talking about?" Sirius shouted._

_"So what's your point? Why would that change anything between us?" James shouted back._

_"Because-" Sirius stopped talking. He realized why he couldn't finish that sentence. "Do you really not care?"_

_"You know, we accepted Moony and he's a werewolf. Why wouldn't we accept you for being… attracted to men?"_

_"Well, first off, you're in the same dormitory as I am. Aren't you scared I'm going to check you out, or stare at you without your shirt on or something like that?"_

_"No, not really. And besides. I stand by what I said earlier. You're in love with Moony!"_

_"I wouldn't say love exactly…"_

_"But you admit you definitely like him as more than a friend?"_

_Sirius paused for a while. "Yes."_

_"How much do you like him?"_

_"Can we please not have this conversation? It's making me uncomfortable," Sirius said._

_"I'm sorry, but we kind of need to. So? How much do you like him?"_

_Sirius sighed. "Too much. I'm pretty sure I even love him. But if I don't, I'm sure that it isn't just some crush. I like him so much it almost hurts."_

_"Aww…" James replied, teasing Sirius._

_"Shut up!" Sirius shouted. He started blushing from revealing that much about his affliction._

_"So… how long?"_

_"I'm not telling you," Sirius responded._

_"That long? Wow," James said._

_"I'm leaving now before you can find out something else about me. Bye, and please don't ever bring up this subject again with me. And don't tell anyone!" Sirius got off the bed and ran through the door before James could ask another question._

_---------- End of Flashback ----------_

So, James didn't tell anyone. He acted.

As a result, Sirius and Remus were now squished together in a minuscule room with no way to get out, no food, no water, no light, and no wands.

"Moony, I think my legs fell asleep," Sirius said, sounding muffled as though his face was squished against a wall.

"I'm sorry, but I can't move," Remus responded.

"I'm going to kill James," Sirius mumbled, but not loudly enough for Remus to hear.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You know, this isn't what I imagined would happen after we finally started speaking again," Remus said.

Sirius laughed as a response but didn't say anything.

About another hour passed in the same way. Sirius and Remus started feeling tired. Sirius soon found that he couldn't keep his eyes wide open anymore, so he closed them.

He felt the presence of Remus in the room with him, and he relaxed, listening to his friend's quiet breathing.

Sirius soon drifted off into a peaceful and dreamless slumber, and Remus soon followed.

**AN: Aww... Sorry, I'm just weird.**


End file.
